Santa Banta SMS 6

Santa: Mein tumhare liye churiyan laya hoon.
Maid: Aap hi pehna dijiye.
Santa: Mujhe tumhara response pehle pata hota to mein panty lekar aata.

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On the wedding night Santa says: Bataao Hairan karoon ya Pareshan?
Jeeto: Dono.
He shows his tiny 1inch penis & says: Kyun hairani hui?
Jeeto: Ji Hui.
Hubby: Ab pareshan karoon?
Jeeto: Ji.
Santa: Yeh erect hai!

Category: Santa Banta SMS

Santa: Yaar tujhe bus mein thapad kyun pada?
Banta: Pata nahin yaar, meri photo neeche gir gayee thi, maine kaha behen ji zara saadi upar karna photo leni hai.

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Santa ki saali: Jijaji 500 Rs de do agley haftey dungi.
Santa: Tu 1500 lele, magar abhi de.

Category: Santa Banta SMS

Santa rape karan di koshish karda hai. Kudi: Tere rape karan to pehla mein mar javangi.
Santa: Aho mar jayin par kise garib de kam na aayin.

Category: Santa Banta SMS

One night Jeeto's boyfriend asked her: Darling, are you free tonight?
Jeeto shouted & said: Asshole, have I ever charged you before?

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In UK, Santa & Banta saw a poster at a Police station: Two White men wanted for Rape.
Santa: These bloody goraas always get the best jobs.

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Pappu: Papa jab aap Honeymoon pe gaye the tab mein kahan tha?
Santa: Putar, jaate waqt tu mere paas tha aur aatey waqt mammi ke paas.

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Call Girl: Wanna have sex?
Santa: Haan, lekin tum meri biwi ki tarah karogi toh
Call Girl: Vo kaise?
Santa: Free mein.

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Teacher gave a sentence to Santa for translation: Khushi ke maare uski chhati phool gayi.
Santa: Due to happiness his chest turned into breasts.

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Santa raping a gal in car. A cop came & said: What are you doing?
Santa: I'm raping her.
Cop: Ok, I'm next.
Santa: Fine, but I have never raped a cop before.

Category: Santa Banta SMS

Santa unable to satisfy his wife, took Banta’s advice.
While having sex, he asked her: Do you feel any change?
Jeeto: Yes, today you are doing it like Banta.

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Santa gave matrimonial ad for his daughter, working at a call centre: Wanted a suitable match for Chandigarh's highest paid call girl.

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Q: How do you recognize Santa's son in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

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Santa in an antique shop, “Do you have anything new?”

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Santa tripped on a broken curb and went to the hospital.
After examining him, the doctor said, "I have some good news, and some bad news for you. First of all, you'll never be able to work again."
Santa replied, "Okay, now what's the bad news?"

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Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I love you sister."

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Santa always leave an empty milk carton in the refrigerator just in case someone wants their coffee black.

Category: Santa Banta SMS

Santa & Banta were walking in the highlands then suddenly Santa fell down in a deep hole.
Banta: Are you ok?
Santa: Fine thanks!
Banta: Did you break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here!

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Santa: Darling, years ago you had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

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On Jeeto’s bday Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.
When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.

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Santa: Tommy ne meri saari kitaab kha layi
Mother: Ohnu mere kole leke aa mein usnu saja dewan
Santa: Saja ta mein de diti, usdi kauli wala dudh mein pee gaya.

Category: Santa Banta SMS

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

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Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

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Jeeto: If I die what'll you do?
Santa: I may also die.
Jeeto: Why?
Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man.

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Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, beta hua beta. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal.

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Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

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Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.

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Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.

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Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.

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Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai.
Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi.

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Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long.....!

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Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal..

Category: Santa Banta SMS

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

Category: Santa Banta SMS

Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.

Category: Santa Banta SMS

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.

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Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more

Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more.

Category: Santa Banta SMS

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

Category: Santa Banta SMS

Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

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An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

Category: Santa Banta SMS

Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.

Category: Santa Banta SMS

Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?

Category: Santa Banta SMS

Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.

Category: Santa Banta SMS

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